Skip to main content

Return of The Rock

 NOTICE! We had filmed this interview, but an elephant sat on our camera. :| Fortunately, we saved this transcript. Enjoy!


  • This is a Transcript of an interview conducted 3/31/2022


Joseph: Hello Folks! Coming to you live from Frans, the one dorm on Christendom that actually gets WIFI, it's Yesterday Christendom! Today we have a special guest who was previously interviewed by the Rambler. I am excited to be bringing you this exclusive interview, but first, I should let him introduce himself. 


Rock: …


Subtitles: (Smiling and nodding along in that weird style of News Anchors)


Rock: …


Subtitles: (He continues to nod and smile, but he is not insane, he’s just a news anchor)


Rock: …


Joseph: Wow! Seems like you’ve had quite a busy career since we’ve seen you last. I’d like to talk to you a bit more about how your work influences Christendom. I think that is a topic of great interest to our viewers.


Rock: …


Joseph: Oh really? 


Subtitles: (He says this with just a bit too much enthusiasm)


Rock: …


Joseph: Fascinating! I can’t believe that I didn’t know that before. I’d hate to be one of those ignoramuses that don’t know that. 


Rock: …


Joseph: Really? That professor is involved? That explains a lot. Now, you seem to be a busy sort of fellow, but I am told that you have found time to write a book. 


Subtitles: He picks up a book with a glossy cover. The rock is pictured on the cover)


Joseph: Rocking on: How Hard Work Led to my Success. I read a bit of this before the interview, and I have some questions. Well, I didn’t really. I had the interns do that. Anyways, in chapter 1, you recount your childhood. Did you really feel taken for granite in your family?


Rock: … (answered with a slight glare)


Joseph: Wow, sounds like that wasn’t very gneiss


Rock: … (replies with a slight air of annoyance) 


Joseph: And in Chapter 2, you reveal that you didn’t have a concrete idea of what you wanted to do in life.


Rock: … (visibly annoyed at the puns)


Joseph: Further, in chapter 3, you say that you were asked to smoke weed with someone, but you didn’t want to get stoned.


Subtitles: (Rock stares at the anchor for a second. Then he stands up and walks off set.)


Joseph: Okay.


Subtitles: (He turns to face a different camera)


Joseph: Coming up next. We’re going to teach you how to be more popular by pointing out your roommate's flaws in public. This has been Christendom Yesterday! Have a Lovely day!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Peanut Butter Cookies

As Lent begins next week, this will be my last dessert recipe for a while. My plan for Lent is to only publish recipes which are completely meatless, mainly different meal options but possibly a few bread recipes. But until Lent begins, I hope that you enjoy these cookies. Chocolate chip cookies are probably the most famous, but peanut butter cookies are one of my favorites. Using oats adds a nice flavor to the cookies without overwhelming them. Ingredients: 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/2 cup honey 1 cup peanut butter 1 egg 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup oats Instructions: Cream the butter and sugar. Stir in the honey and peanut butter. Mix in the egg. Add the salt and baking powder. Fold in the flour and oats. Chill the cookie dough for at least two hours. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Shape the cookies into small balls placing them on the cookie sheet about an inch apart. Cross hatch the ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Orange Chocolate Cookies

Recently a friend told me that she was craving oranges and chocolate. Another friend responded that she had a bag of oranges that needed to be used. So, to feed two birds with one cookie, I came up with a simple and delicious recipe for Orange Chocolate Cookies! This seemingly uncommon mix is an easy to bake delicious treat that is sure to liven up your day and make you crave more! Even better, the ingredients are common and cheap! Orange Chocolate Cookies Ingredients: 1 stick of butter/margarine 2 cups of white granulated sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract 1 teaspoon of baking powder 1/4 teaspoon of salt 2 1/2 cups flour 2 medium or 1 large orange 4 ounces chocolate chips or baking chocolate (roughly chopped) Instructions: Preheat the oven to 325℉. Cream the butter/margarine and sugar adding 1/4 cup at a time. Stir in the eggs and vanilla extract. Add the baking powder and salt. Fold in two cups of the flour 1/2 cup at a time. Zest the orange and add the zest and juice. Add th...
Post a Comment
Read more